noah_kulwin

a boy and his website


my name is noah.
i use this for fun, friends, and feelings.
my Professional website is noahkulwin dot com.

or you can tweet me at @nkulw if you really want to

whatever man
02 13 2015 19:20

That boy going way up

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on



12 19 2014 13:10

at the gate. they upgraded some folks to first class and when they were done a young white guy in suit walked up and said "what about me"

— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) December 19, 2014


12 18 2014, 22:25

posting online is bad for you. close your computer. go take a walk. look at some flowers. breathe in the air. trip up the steps on the way back in. walk into the screen door. accidentally ash your cigarette on your wrist. get back inside and whatever you do, don't post online.



12 16 2014, 20:45

tfw ur entire species is an embarrassment

how embarrassing is it for this entire planet that there's an international incident going on over a james franco/seth rogen movie

— tinybaby (@tinybaby) December 17, 2014


12 13 2014, 19:20

enjoying my birthday with my best friends :)



12 12 2014, 16:20

To: neonwario@gmail.com Subj. Friend Baby Hello, Please do not refer to Krista's and my baby as your friend. Thanks, Dennis Algiers

— Huge bee in the car (@neonwario) June 4, 2014


12 12 2014, 13:30

in The Age of Content, all shreds of content on the internet are competing against one another at all times. the longread on crown heights loosie men that you shared on twitter is competing against 15 Right-Wing Journalists Who Poop On The Floor, etc. etc.

and so, a grand theory of virality might suppose, what matters more and more isn't where the content comes from, but who's doing the sharing and what the content itself is. if the Content in question is a monsanto press release that's dressed up the same way as a new republic thinkpiece (lol), theoretically the Content could "travel" the same way. this is perhaps why people don't trust buzzfeed, but will happily share its links all the same (not a knock on buzzfeed! you keep doing you!)

case in point: if you're a football team that wants to release ra-ra-ra video Content of your hall of fame ex-qb/current team executive and brand it as an EXCLUSIVE interview (because virtually any other discerning outlet would call it for what it is: absolutely meaningless), who cares! it's Content! and it's out there, and it'll be shared, eyeballed, accounted for and tucked away in a server somewhere for all eternity.

anyway, my bday is tomorrow.

“Coming out of the #Rams game we knew we had to run more and commit to it." ELWAY EXCLUSIVE: http://t.co/1VdiDi3VOB pic.twitter.com/tyYmDE0AWN

— Denver Broncos (@Broncos) December 12, 2014


12 08 2014, 13:40

who invited u to my xanga

— ༼՟ິͫཀ՟ິͫ༽ (@cpgscientist) December 8, 2014


12 06 2014, 15:15

so i finally watched interstellar and i kind of liked it, but i mostly didn't. putting aside the Dark and Modern christopher nolan shtick, the visuals were neat, the withering stares were impressive, and the furtive glances were bountiful. matthew mcconaughey is, as always, perfectly likable. anne hathaway does great as the emotional core of the movie. michael caine! topher grace!(!!!!!) what stinks is that it's hard to give a shit about any of that because all of it's subordinated to a childishly convenient plot point about the power of L.O.V.E.

the only reason i'm thinking about any of this is because i rewatched the fifth element last night. the fifth element and interstellar basically have the same ending (love will save us! love transcends space and time!), but get to it in completely different ways. the fifth element is a fantastically weird movie set a couple hundred years in the future. interstellar is focused on the near-present, with the Looks Like Global Warming Happened, Lol Damn premise, and lots of conspicuously attractive people looking at one another longingly. one of these movies has absolutely nothing to hide about its motives, and the other one is disguised in the same Dark and Modern trappings that made the last batman movie so bad. the fifth element doesn't waste a lot of time trying to develop all of its characters; it spends a lot of energy on the chemistry between bruce willis and milla jovovich, and it selectively unfurls a lot of already complex and weird characters (or, as alien sci-fi often does, makes entire alien races complex and weird). by comparison, interstellar just feels... bloodless. like most christopher nolan movies, i guess.

anyway,



12 04 2014, 16:45

A ghost isn't scary. You know what's scary? [i]A billion ghosts.[/i]

— dwayne (@collatingbones2) December 4, 2014
12 04 2014, 15:10

this is is for all my TNR boys who are having a bad day



12 04 2014, 12:25

Twitter is the Potemkin village of the link economy.

— Christopher Mims (@mims) December 4, 2014

12 04 2014, 02:20



12 04 2014, 01:50

(cop inspecting his new body cam with huge pepperoni fingers) what the fuck is htis. where do i pack the ammo. is this a new type of grenade

— wint (@dril) December 2, 2014


12 04 2014, 01:30



12 04 2014, 00:30

berkeley is one of those places that feels softer in the rain. the pavement squishes under your feet when you walk, and the rough edges all seem to run for cover. for whatever reason, things feel like they move even more slowly than they normally do. the buses stuck in traffic, the students shuffling through the crosswalk, all of it.


i'd be cool with it raining here more often.




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